#tess is so obsessed with the whole thing she just stares

[seethesunny]

MY BEST FRIENDS MY FAMILY MY MOST BELOVED PEOPLE 🥹❤���

✨ girl dad Joel ✨

made for @kokureno

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 26

A trip outside the QZ turns dangerous. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-25 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Injuries from canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 5.2k

Tuesday, June 6, 2023 - Two Years Later

“I’m not doing this with you again, Joel,” Tess snapped, staring him down from across the table. “I’m not letting your obsession…” 

“It’s not fucking safe, Tess,” he cut her off. “When was the last time we went out and didn’t run into raiders? Last two months have been especially bad…” 

“You think it’s safe for you and me but not safe for her?” She demanded.

“No, it’s not safe for anyone,” he snapped back. “But you I trust to actually kill someone, you can take care of yourself. Who knows what the fuck she would do if she gets picked up by fuckin’ raiders…” 

“Who knows what you would do if she gets picked up by fucking raiders, that’s what you mean,” she knocked back the rest of her drink. “I’m done with this shit, I’m done with your paranoia around Doc dictating our goddamn operation…” 

“When have I ever dictated a damn thing about our operation?” His jaw clenched. 

“How about when you told your brother, our partner, to leave town without consulting me because she got hurt?” She said. “Or when you killed not one but fucking two FEDRA guards in the QZ because you saw them as a threat…” 

“They were a fucking threat!” 

“Not to mention the time you made the call to leave me in the QZ when you took her outside the first time,” she snapped. “Even though you knew you’re a goddamn liability where she’s concerned! You need to get over this woman who you’ve had nothing to do with in damn near 15 years, Joel! She’s done with you, you need to be done with her. Fucking leave it.”

She went to leave but he followed her. 

“You take her out there and I’m not goin’,” he said. “End of story.” 

“Tell me what the fuck it is you want, Joel!” She yelled. “Because it sure seems like you don’t want to be anything to anyone. You didn’t want anything with me! It sure seemed like you could have had whatever you wanted with her and you didn’t take it and now you’re doing this and I don’t fucking understand you! Do you really think she’s just going to accept us not bringing her out anymore? That she’ll just listen to whatever the hell it is you tell her? Because you’ve got a funny taste in women if that’s what you’re after…” 

“She isn’t one of us, she doesn’t have to know when we go out!” He yelled. “No one says we have to involve her in shit, Tess…” 

“And when she asks?” She demanded. “When we need more medical gear?” 

“We bring Andrew out,” he said. Tess stood there for a moment, just blinking at him. “He talked to me few weeks back. Wanted me to consider bringing him instead of her, he’s worried too. He’s heard shit from other smugglers and guards about what it’s like out there. He’ll go, she’ll still get what she’s after and he will actually fucking look out for himself. Besides, the chances of raiders trying to grab him are a whole hell of a lot lower than with her.” 

“His wife know about this plan?” Tess asked, a bit calmer now. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Not my business.” 

She looked at him, shaking her head. 

“You better pray nothing happens to him,” she said. “Because if it does and she finds out it was your doing…” 

Joel shrugged again. 

“Long as she’s alive to hate me?” He said. “I don’t give a shit.” 

Tess sighed. 

“Fine,” she said, resigned. “Talk to Andrew. Tell Doc, don’t tell Doc, whatever. I’m done trying to make sense of your shit with her.” 

She stalked toward the door. 

“Going to the Speakeasy,” she said. “Appreciate it if you didn’t join.” 

Joel sighed. He could hardly blame Tess, not when she was right. He poured himself more whiskey. He’d never been able to find a balance he felt like he could survive with you. There was so close that it felt like he was on the edge of a cliff and gravity was winning. The feeling that he was inches from destruction. But then there was so far that felt like he was stretching and reaching, part of him always trying to get to you. It didn’t matter what else it strained, what else it hurt, there was the constant pull toward you. There was no middle ground. There was either too close or not close enough. 

He went to the clinic when he knew you’d be at school but Andrew still greeted him with a “She’s not here.” 

“That’s the point,” Joel said. “Here for you. Rather she not know. Have a minute?” 

Andrew flagged down a woman to watch the desk and led Joel outside the clinic. 

“Next run, I’m not takin’ her,” he said. “Still interested?” 

“Why the change?” Andrew frowned. “You weren’t going for that before.” 

“Raiders are getting bad,” he replied. “You and me they’d just kill. Her…” 

Andrew nodded. 

“Can’t tell her,” Joel said. “Not until we’re back, she’ll try to stop you going.” 

“Trust me, I know,” Andrew said. “Luckily, Doc is Doc and she keeps a thorough log of what meds she’s after and what’s she’s used. I won’t need to ask her for shit.” 

“We’re heading out this weekend,” Joel said. “It’ll be a few days. Make sure your wife’s on board.” 

He just nodded and Joel was thankful, once again, that you had a friend like Andrew. 

***

“Doc,” Ellie sighed dramatically, drawing the word out as she trudged into your classroom and flopped into a desk, putting her head down. “I’m so freakin’ bored.” 

“Hi, Ellie, I’m doing well, thank you for asking,” you smiled. “How are you?” 

She raised her head enough to glare at you before putting it back down. 

“If all I’m going to do is go shoot infected for FEDRA why do I have to know about verbs?” She asked. 

“Because everyone needs to know about verbs,” you replied. “Can’t read or speak without them.” 

“Can they make them less boring at least?” She lifted her head again. “Because right now they feel stupid as fu… something stupid.” 

“Want something not boring?” You asked. Her head shot up. You smiled conspiratorially. “I got you stuff.” 

“Oh fuck yes!” She winced. “Sorry. Heck yes?” 

You just laughed and went into your school bag, pulling out photo copies of books that were in libraries of other schools that Derek got you into when he’d go teach his photography course. Ellie came and stood in front of your desk, leaning over to see what you were grabbing. 

“Got this whole thing on black holes,” you said, handing her a packet. “This one on a probe that is still probably flying through space and should be past Pluto by now.” You gave her another packet. “And then this on roller coasters.” You gave her a magazine. 

“Hell yeah!” 

You gave her a look.

“What? I said hell,” she said. “That one doesn’t even count.” 

“Go sit in your corner you gremlin,” you rolled your eyes but smiled anyway. 

“Gladly,” she smiled, chin tilted up, and took her bundle of pages over to the beanbags. She started with the roller coasters as you put on a tape and started grading tests. 

“Hey Doc?” She said after a few minutes. 

“Hm?” 

“Did you ride roller coasters?” She asked. “Was that like… a thing everyone did or was it kind of special?” 

“Well,” you shrugged. “It kind of depended. Most people did at least once but it was still kind of special. There weren’t roller coasters near where I lived as a kid and my grandma didn’t have much money but I went to a theme park with a friend once when I was about your age. And a few times with a friend and his daughter when I was in college. I rode some roller coasters then. They were pretty fun but most of the time when you went to theme parks, you spent a lot of time waiting in line.” 

“Ew,” she crinkled her nose and went back to reading. 

“Hey Doc,” Riley trudged in. 

“Hi Riley,” you said, holding out the book she’d been reading when she came to sit with Ellie. She took it and went and plopped on the other beanbag chair. “Rough day?” 

She just grunted. 

“I’m here if you want to talk,” you said, going back to grading. 

You weren’t surprised when she didn’t take you up on it. Ellie was far more likely to talk to you than her older counterpart. She’d come to your classroom almost every weekday for the past two years. For a while, she was pretty quiet. She’d bring in her reading or take from the shelf and go sit in the corner. You didn’t press her. A few months in, she’d do more than ask you questions about her reading. She talked about her classmates, the issues with FEDRA teachers and administration, about the comic books she liked. You’d started looking for the series she mentioned when you went to the underground markets or were outside the QZ as well as books about space. She’d quickly become a bright spot in your day. 

Riley, on the other hand, had become more withdrawn the last few months. She’d never opened up to you the way Ellie had, but she seemed to like you better than her other teachers and she always put in an effort in class. But lately, she’d been tired, preoccupied. You’d tried talking to her but hadn’t gotten very far - something made all the more frustrating by the fact that you were pretty sure there was no one else at the school checking in with her. She was at risk of falling through the cracks of the system and you weren’t sure you were enough of a net to catch her. 

Derek was always trying to tell you that you couldn’t save everyone and, consciously, you knew he was right. But that didn’t stop you from trying. 

It’s part of why you’d pressed so hard working on your cordyceps treatment theory. It took years - literal years - of working with samples and trying different formulations but, earlier in the year you’d found something that actually seemed to work. The right chemical combination delivered in the right way and the samples didn’t grow. They stayed in the tissue where they’d been implanted, not stretching beyond it. 

“Do you know what this means?” You asked Elias, all but shoving your notes into his hands. “We could make it so a bite isn’t a death sentence. It’s not going to cure anybody but it can make it so people can leave the QZ, go near infected to wipe them out without needing to worry as much… I mean it still needs trials but…” 

“It’s a great idea,” he said, sounding exhausted. “But do you really think we’ll be able to get the powers that be to divert manufacturing to synthesize it? Let alone the process it will take to make the factories to produce the stuff?” 

“Elias, we’re talking about something that can start getting the world back,” you looked at him, baffled. 

“I know,” he clapped a hand on your shoulder. “And I’m telling you that I don’t know that there is a world to get back.” 

You just stared at him for a moment in disbelief. 

“I’ll run it up the chain,” he said. “But… I’m not optimistic.” 

He walked away, leaving you alone with your notes in your hands. 

So you did the next best thing you could think of. You found Marlene. 

“This is…” she looked through your pages. “I mean, I don’t know shit about the science of it but your tests…” 

“They’re not tests on living subjects,” you hedged. “I mean, in the before times we’d be years out from human trials but give that the bitten are pretty much dead men walking, if we can equip people going outside the walls with this stuff we can always just see if it works when the inevitable happens… It’s not a cure and it’s by no means a sure thing but it’s a start.” 

“I’ll take a start.” 

You weren’t able to get anything more out of Riley before the weekend and Andrew was out at work on Saturday, which made you oddly nervous. Marta said Jess said he was sick but something felt off. He’d been fine on Friday… 

Derek was convinced you were being paranoid but you still woke up feeling uneasy on Monday. 

Riley missed class entirely that day. Ellie looked particularly downtrodden at lunch but didn’t say much. When you asked if something was wrong, she just shrugged, looking distracted. 

Andrew was still missing when you got to work. 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Derek said when he came to meet you that evening. “He probably just has the flu or something. I’m sure Jess would have gotten you if it were anything serious…” 

“You’re right,” you sighed. “I know you’re right. I just… something doesn’t feel right.” 

It set your teeth on edge. You couldn’t sit still, tapping your pen on charts when you had a patient, the front desk when you didn’t. 

“Can you not hover?” Marta asked. “I’m not Andrew, for me it’s just weird.” 

“Sorry,” you sighed when the front door of the clinic flew open and Tess and Joel came running in, all but dragging Andrew between them. 

Your eyes went wide. Andrew was covered in blood, his head hanging limp. You screamed for help as you ran for him. 

“What happened?” You frantically pulled at his clothes, trying to get to his skin. His face was pale and his eyes were closed. You looked back over your shoulder. No one else was coming yet. “Help me!” 

“We were almost back,” Tess said quickly. “Raiders came out of fucking nowhere, Andrew was in back…” 

You got the bloody shirt raised enough to see the bullet holes. You scrambled to stem the bleeding as Kristen and Lee came up from the back. You kept your hands on Andrew’s stomach, your skin turning red with his blood, trying desperately to hold him together. They started trying to move him and you moved with them, hands still on him, until someone held you back. 

“You can’t help him,” Marta’s voice was thick, wet. “You can’t do it, it has to be someone else…” 

“I can…” you reached for the doors but she held you in place. 

“You can’t,” she said. “You’re too close, you can’t.” 

You weren’t sure when you’d started sobbing but your face was wet and your vision was blurry and you were too covered in blood to do anything about it. You turned to Joel and Tess. 

“Why was he out there?” You asked. Tess looked at Joel. You raised your voice. “Why was he out there!” 

Tess looked at Joel again. He just stared at the ground. 

It was like something in you snapped. Everything you’d tied up in him for decades, everything you’d felt, everything you’d longed for, everything you’d imagined existed for yourself in another time and place and world with Joel at core of it. It broke open, spilling out of you in a rush. 

You shoved him. He didn’t move to stop you. 

“It’s you, it’s always fucking you!” You pushed him again. “Decided you were done seeing me so you dragged him into it!” You threw your entire body weight at him. He caught you and held onto you until you forced him back. “I can count on one FUCKING HAND the number of people on this planet who are happy I exist and you had to take him? You hate me that fucking much?” 

Joel’s eyes finally left the ground and met yours. He was was in so much pain you could almost feel it. You stopped pushing him. His shirt was covered in your bloody handprints. 

“He has a wife! He has kids! He fucking matters to people and you dragged him into this?” You were panting for breath, still crying. You didn’t think you could stop crying if you tried. “I’ve spent half my life in love with you, Joel, half my fucking life begging to matter to you and instead you just…” A sob choked you for a moment. “I wish I’d never fucking met you. I wish you never touched me. I wish you never called me that night I wish you never came to fucking Boston I wish you just got the fuck out of my life and left me alone!” 

You went to shove him again but arms appeared behind you and Derek pulled you back into his chest, holding you in place. 

“I hate you!” You snarled it at him. “I wish it had been you, it should have been fucking you!” 

He just stood there, staring at you for a moment as Derek held you tightly to him, before Joel turned and left. After a moment, Derek’s grip on you loosened. Your head spun. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tess was staring at you. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about…” 

“Fuck off, Tess,” you snapped. “You could have put a stop to it, you could have just not let him come…” 

“Not Andrew,” she shook her head, stepping close to you. “Joel. How dare you. The shit he’s done for you, the shit he’s gone through for you…” 

“For me?” You snapped. “No, it had nothing to do with me! It’s always been about him, Tess, and you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that.” 

“You could have walked away at anytime,” she all but snarled at you. “You could have actually stayed away from him, told him no when he fucking caved and you never did, you never fucking did…” 

“You think it’s my fault?” You snapped. “All his shit…” 

“You could have left him with me!” She yelled. She took a second to calm down. “You could have left him with me and you fucking didn’t. You just hung on…” 

“Of course I did,” you said, quieter now, too. “I didn’t have a choice.” 

She looked at you, the side of her shirt wet with Andrew’s blood. 

“I’ll go tell his wife,” she said. “I hope he makes it.” 

You felt unsteady on your feet and Derek’s arms went around you guiding you to a seat in the empty waiting room. You looked down at your hands, splotched with drying blood. Andrew’s blood. You stared at the wall. 

Jess came in. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but she was frantic. You stood up and she grabbed you, choking on her tears. You held her loosely, still in a daze, and she sat beside you, holding your bloody hand. Derek’s hand was on your back. You stared at the wall. You weren’t sure if you were really blinking. You weren’t sure time was passing. You weren’t sure how long you sat there. The blood on your shirt hardened as it dried. Jess’ hand stayed firmly in your own. 

Lee came out from the back and you and Jess jumped to your feet, hands still clasped tight. 

“It was close,” he said. “But he pulled through.” 

You didn’t really hear anything else Lee said after that. He let you back to see him and he was just coming around when you did, his eyes heavy and voice groggy. 

“What happened?” He managed after Jess had fawned over him for a minute.

“You were a dumbass who went outside the QZ,” you tried to sound upset about it but you were too happy to see him alive. “What were you thinking?” 

“Wanted to be the cool one for a change,” he smiled a little at you. You just rolled your eyes. 

“I’ll give you two a minute,” you leaned over and kissed his forehead. “But I swear to God Andrew you pull that shit on me again…” 

“I know, I know,” he said. “You’re the cool one and you’ll kill me to keep the title.” 

You went back to the waiting room. The clinic was closed but it was shortly before curfew and Derek was standing near the door. 

“Hey,” you sighed, coming over and pressing your forehead into his chest, expecting his arms to go around you. They didn’t. 

“He looking OK?” He asked. His voice was distant. You frowned. 

“Yeah,” you pulled back from him. “Everything OK?” 

He laughed darkly. 

“No, no I can’t say everything’s OK,” he shook his head. Your frown deepened. “Is Joel the reason you wouldn’t move in with me?” 

You froze. You had been so mad at Joel you’d forgotten that Derek was even there. Derek, who you’d never told about Joel. 

He pressed on. 

“Is Joel the reason that, when I asked if you thought about children, you said no?” He asked. “Jesus Christ, we’ve been together for almost seven years and you never thought to tell me you were in love with another man? A man you were regularly leaving the QZ with?” 

“Derek…” 

“Did you ever love me at all?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. “Fuck, I tried to build a life with you!” 

“Of course I love you…” You were crying again. You weren’t quite sure when you started. “I just… It’s different and… Nothing happened with him, it’s been years, it’s been so long and…” 

“But you still loved him,” he said. “Right? You were still in love with him the whole time you were with me, right?” 

You didn’t say anything. You just tried to keep from sobbing. 

“That’s what I thought,” he ran a hand through his hair, turning away from you. “Fuck!” 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you I just…” 

“You just what?” He asked turning back to you. “You just thought you’d lie to me forever?” 

“I just thought I could love you,” you said. “I do love you, it’s just not the same as him but I thought… I thought it could be. That if I ever could with anyone it would be with you because I do love you, I want to love you that way, I want a life with you…” 

“Wanting it just isn’t enough,” he shook his head, a look of sad disbelief still on his face. “Especially not after you lied to me for half a goddamn decade. It’s just not enough.” 

“Derek…” 

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I can’t do this, not with you. I hope you get what you want someday, I really do. But I can’t do this.” 

He left and you stared out the front door, into the darkness, for a while. You weren’t sure how long. Eventually, you walked in a daze to Andrew’s room. Jessica had her head down on one side of his bed, his hand on her head. You pulled up a chair to the other side of him. 

“Hey,” he whispered. 

“Hey,” you managed a smile. 

“20 years later and we’re still the codependency crew,” he smiled back. 

“Yeah,” you sat down and put your head down beside him. “We are.” 

Tuesday, August 15, 2023 

“You know you don’t need to keep coming over, right?” Andrew asked, smiling down at you from the couch, his head propped on his fist. “Don’t need as much help now…” 

“Who said I was coming over for your benefit?” You scoffed. You were lying on your back, baby Jonah - named for Andrew’s father - on your chest. He was big enough that he was just starting to run and it seemed like he wanted to do that and nothing else. You swooped the toddler toward your face and blew a raspberry on both cheeks before lifting him straight up overhead, making whooshing sounds. He giggled and clapped his chubby little hands. “I’m clearly just hanging out with my best friends.” 

Elizabeth came over and hung her head over your own, her curls bobbing as she cocked her head at you. 

“Auntie Doc,” she said, her voice very serious. “Did you know your teeth are bones?” “Are they really?” You said. “Thank you so much for telling me, that is very big news…” 

“We’re reading a book about the body,” Jess flopped on the couch beside her husband. “We learned about the skeleton today.” 

“OK sweetie, Auntie Doc’s arms are getting tired so you have to move so I can bring your brother in for a landing,” you said. Elizabeth scrunched her nose but obeyed, stepping to the side so you could bring Jonah back down to your chest. 

“Who needs the gym when you have tiny humans to lift, hm?” You kept a hand on Jonah while reaching out to tickle Elizabeth, who shrieked and giddily fled toward the other side of the coffee table. 

“Alright tiny ones,” Andrew clapped his hands on his legs. “Bed time, let’s go.” 

He got up - slowly - off the couch and you lifted Jonah so he wouldn’t need to bend all the way down to reach him. Elizabeth whined all the way down the hall. You smiled. 

“I know a lot of it didn’t work out but damn,” Jess sighed. “You’d be such an amazing mom.” 

Your heart clenched at that. 

“Thanks,” you said quietly. 

“Are you planning to stay here again?” She asked. You lifted your head to look at her. 

“I feel like you’re asking me not to,” you smiled a little. 

“Not exactly,” she crinkled her nose. “But Andrew had his follow up today with Lee and…” she glanced down the hallway before lowering her voice. “I really want to f-u-c-k my husband now that he’s cleared for it which is a little tricky with you there.” You laughed. 

“I mean I guess if you want to have THAT kind of relationship with the guy,” you said dryly. 

She laughed, too. 

“Look, I’m definitely not kicking you out,” she said. “Lord knows he probably cock blocked you enough through the years when I was outside the QZ for work. If you won’t be OK at home, stay here with us…” 

“No,” you sighed. “I need to get used to it.” 

You’d hardly been to your apartment since Andrew got hurt. You’d only slept there twice since outside a few naps here and there. Otherwise, you’d been at Andrew and Jess’ place. At first, it was to help with the kids. Or that was the excuse you told yourself, anyway. Andrew had barely even made it into the apartment after being released. He needed help doing everything for weeks and you wrangling the kids gave Jess the space she needed to take care of him. The clinic had all but removed you from the schedule while Andrew recovered, you coming by for a while on Saturday and Sunday but otherwise just teaching and helping them. You’d started going back for a few hours most days but you were still at Andrew and Jess’ place all the time otherwise. 

You knew your apartment was going to feel lonely. Not just because Derek was gone but because you’d smothered the loss with Elizabeth and Jonah and the feeling of being needed. It was time to get back to real life. 

“You’re sure?” She said. “Because I mean it, you can just move in if you want…” 

You laughed at that. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I’ll go home. It’ll be good for me, I need to start adjusting.” 

“Hey,” she said, making you look at her. “You know we love you right? Me, him, the kids? Because we do.” 

You smiled. 

“Love you too.” 

You were right, your apartment was lonely. The air was stale and everything had a fine layer of dust. You made a mental note to try to set aside time to clean the place the next day, it desperately needed some TLC. As you went to bed you sighed and opened the bedside table drawer. Below a few notebooks was the picture of you, Joel and Sarah. 

It hadn’t sat by your bedside in years now. You took it out sometimes to look at when you were home alone but it always went back in the drawer when you were done, tucked away. Your fingers traced the contours of their faces. You wondered what Sarah would look like now. She’d have been the same age Joel was when you first got together - a little older, actually. That was difficult to picture. 

It was hard to think of her in that way. She’d gotten stuck in time, forever nothing but potential. She hadn’t figured out what she wanted to be yet, so you had a hard time picturing her having a career - just images of her looking happy and successful. But you could picture her in a wedding dress, Joel walking her down the aisle with a proud smile on his face. Her cradling a tiny baby with his mother’s springy curls and his grandfather’s nose. Her giving advice to her little sister - now a teenager with long dark hair and her dad’s warm brown eyes - about how to survive college. 

It didn’t seem to matter how much Joel seemed to hate you, how much you desperately wished you could hate him, he’d been built into you somehow. You couldn’t shake him, no matter how hard you tried. 

You put the picture back in its spot beside your bed and tried to sleep, feeling more alone than you had since Joel left you before the outbreak. 

It wasn’t a deep sleep. When there was a quick, quiet knock at your door, you woke with a start. You frowned, glancing at the time. It was well after curfew. You got up and looked through the peephole and saw Ellie, huddled against your door. 

You fumbled with the locks, rushing to get the door open. She hadn’t been in class in a week, you’d asked several administrators where she was and no one would give you a straight answer. You’d gone by her room to check on her and she was nowhere to be found but she hadn’t taken much with her if she’d left. You were about to go to Elias and try to leverage what little FEDRA connections you had to see what records they had about where she’d gone, see if you could get to her. Riley had vanished, too, and you just prayed Ellie hadn't gone after her.

Instead, she’d shown up at your door. You’d given her your address and schedule months ago when she showed up in class with a black eye. 

“You ever feel unsafe,” you said. “Come to me. I will help you, I will drop whatever I’m doing and I will handle it, OK?” 

“OK,” she said. 

She hadn’t shown up with a black eye since. You hadn’t pressed. 

“Ellie,” you pulled her into your chest the second the door was open. Her eyes were teary. She looked exhausted. “Where have you been, what’s been going on? I’ve been asking administration where they sent you but…” 

“Doc,” she sniffed as she pulled back from you and held out her right arm. You gasped, your hand going to your mouth. There was a vicious bite there, the teethmarks deep in her flesh. “I’m in trouble.” 

A/N: AND WE'VE REACHED THE SHOW TIMELINE BUCKLE UP FOLKS!

Yes, everyone got super blown apart this chapter. That's the goal, they're at their most emotionally vulnerable just at the start of this big trip, it's going to be great and angsty and they're going to be forced to reckon with their shit because it's right at the surface heading into these extreme situations GET READY!

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[messrmoonyy]

Fine a dare can be. Post a snippet of one of your WIPS

Oh. That I can do. This might be the next upload. It might not. I don’t decide until the bloody day I post half the time but. I worked on this this morning so. I’m a little obsessed with writing from within her head instead of readers rn idk why. Literally rough first draft. Not edited or proofread or whatever

“ are you hoping if you stare at the back of his head long enough he’ll just drop down dead? “ Joel’s southern drawl hit her ears and she flashed him an irritated look, before looking back over at you. You’d been striking up a deal with someone for over 10 minutes, some new fucker clearly bartering you down for the cost of some pills. But he was being too… touchy.

You were no stranger to flirting your way through deals and Tess had always been surprised at just how much you could raise the prices in trades just by simply… existing. Being a woman in the current climate had never been particularly great. And learning to use what you had to for your own advantages was vital.

‘ men think they’re getting something and they’ll be putty in your hands ‘ that’s what you had said once. And she wasn’t exactly against it, hell she was guilty of doing it herself. But it didn’t change how infuriating it was.

“ you know she won’t do shit. You got that girl eating out of the god damn palm of your hand “ Joel said with a laugh, chewing at a chunk of his rationed beef jerky and eyeing the hand of cards he was holding. Though Tess had long since lost interest in the game they were playing “ ask her to beg at your fuckin feet and she’d do it. Then again, you’d probably do it for her too “ A small smirk pulled at her lips with that. She knew it was true, of course. She trusted you whole heartedly, knowing you had zero interest in anyone else. Especially men. And no one on the entire planet could turn her head.

You were just as infatuated with her as she was with you. It was a mutual obsession that was no where close to burning out.

“ I know “

“ then drop the miserable look on your damn face and play your turn “ she rolled her eyes and took her eyes off of you for a few moments, looking back down at the cards in front of her. She played a card without even really looking at it, her eyes soon trailing back over to you again “ you are making this too damn easy for me “

She didn’t grant him with a response, eyes narrowing as she watched you exchange a half bag of pills for a wad of cards. Clearly more than you’d usually have sold them for, but her small proud smile didn’t last long.

The man stepped closer to you, head bowed as he said something in your ear. You gave a clearly over exaggerated laugh, arm on his shoulder. And she was certain she saw your eyes flick in her direction.

She huffed a laugh, sitting back in her chair and shaking her head in mild disbelief

“ the little shit “ Joel’s eyes drifted over to you too, his brow furrowed as they both watched you flirt with the man.

“ Jesus Christ “ Joel muttered, clearly thinking the same thing Tess was. You were doing it on purpose. Pushing her buttons “ don’t rise to it. It’s what she wants “

“ I know what she fuckin wants “ she narrowed her eyes, watching you across the courtyard as she attempted to continue the game with Joel.

[kevin-day-is-bi]

Well, I did it. I wrote fanfiction for the second time in my life, and I loved doing it!

It's TID, Jem/Will/Tessa, set pre-Clockwork Princess since I wrote it for my lovely friend @lavenderlemonrose who hasn't read CP yet.

Also I know November isn't even over yet but I got the urge to write Christmas things

And I'm sorry, I have NO CLUE how to do the read more break thing so no one has a gaint block of text on their dash

Tessa smiled at Jem gently, squeezing his arm where it was looped through hers. The gentle buzz of London life surrounded them. At first Tessa had only been able to note how different it was from New York, but now the sounds feel like home. 

“How decorated do you think the Institute is?” She asked, looking at the great stone building at the end of the street. 

“Going by the maniacal gleam in Gideon and Gabriel’s eyes and Will’s natural penchant for mischief, I imagine it is unrecognizable.” Jem grinned down at her, light eyes twinkling with a rare burst of energy. 

Tessa felt her cheeks warm and glanced away, appraising a dress in a shop window to avoid Jem seeing her embarrassment. Seeing him like this, alive and strong, made him outrageously beautiful, and she was worried that if she didn’t distract herself she would launch herself at him and make a spectacle in the middle of Fleet Street. 

“I suspect there will be copious amounts of mistletoe in every room.” Jem sounded amused, whether from the mistletoe or Tessa’s avoidance, she couldn’t tell. She dared to glance back at him, blushing deeper as she caught his eyes. Oh, he certainly knew the direction of her thoughts, at least. 

“Put up by whom, do you think?” 

Jem tipped his head back to study the sky, cane swinging uselessly at his side. The brisk weather seemed to do him good. 

“Everyone. I expect many people will put it up to catch others and wind up getting caught in it themselves.” 

Tessa huffed a little laugh, watching his profile. The winter breeze played with his hair, making little strands of quicksilver whip around his eyes. His eyes drifted shut, and she led him by his arm. 

“You are going to run into someone,” She said, maneuvering him around a group of giggling schoolchildren. 

“Not when I have you guiding me, Tess.” 

Tessa smiled. She loved the way he said her name. 

…

Inside the Institute was deliciously warm, the fireplace in the entranceway dispelling the chill from outside. Jem watched Tessa push back her hood and unbutton her coat. There were little snowflakes stuck in her eyelashes, and more snow clinging to her hair. She handed Sophie her coat, who moved to hang it on the rack. Tessa turned to Jem, noticing his gaze. She quirked a brow, and Jem smiled. 

“Your hair is coming down.”

Tessa raised a hand to her elaborate knot, sighing when she found a large section of it hanging down her neck. 

“It’s all that wind.” She tried to tuck it up, but Jem reached out a hand. 

“I like your hair down.” 

It was true. Tessa almost always had her hair up, either in a braid to sleep in or up in some form of bun during the day. So when it was down, soft and straight, it was all he could do to not bury his hands in it. There was no one around now, so he curled some of it around his fingers. Tessa blushed deeply, ducking her head in that way she always did when he flirted with her. 

She pointed a finger at him when he laughed softly. “Your hair is wrecked, too.” 

“My hair is perfect, as always.” Tessa gave a little yelp, jerking away and turning to see who had spoken, but Jem knew who it was. Knew that voice better than his own. 

“Modest as ever, I see.” Jem turned to see Will Herondale leaning against the wall, looking smug. 

“I speak only the truth.” 

“Oh. Will.” Tessa relaxed slightly upon seeing who it was and smoothed a hand over her skirt. Jem stepped casually back, but Will held up a hand. 

“Please, don’t stop on my account. That looked rather fun.” 

“It was, thank you.” Tessa reached up and managed to tuck her hair back into some semblance of a bun. “And while I suspect it would be just as enjoyable with an audience, the others will be missing us.” She marched past Will, head high. 

Jem met Will’s eyes. Will smiled widely, running a hand through his hair. 

“I never thought I would meet a match for your wit,” Jem said, walking up to Will and grinning at him. 

“And I never thought I would meet a match for my looks, yet here the both of you stand.” Will flushed slightly, as though he hadn’t intended to say that. “In any case, Charlotte sent me to find you two.” 

“Congratulations on a job well done, then. Shall we?” Jem proffered his elbow, and with a laugh Will looped his arm through it. 

…

Dinner was loud, several fights broke out, and Jem had never been happier. Gideon and Gabriel were uncomfortably sitting next to each other, as far as they could get from Will. Charlotte looked delighted, and Henry had cleaned up at her insistence, wearing a dark blue waistcoat with no burns or chemical stains. 

Jem and Will had Tessa between them, and had been trading acerbic comments and food throughout the whole meal. 

With a great deal of wheedling, Charlotte had managed to convince Sophie, Bridget, and Thomas to sit with them, and Tessa, Cecily, and to everyone’s surprise, Gideon volunteered to bring up the food, to much protestations. 

The food itself was perfect. Ham, chicken, many different types of soups and meat pies, and most every other food Jem could think of had been spread out over their large dinner table, and Jem had thought himself full until Tessa and Gideon brought up the desserts. Will hadn’t stopped eating so far, filling his plate with something of everything and finishing it all, only pausing to trade yelled insults with Gabriel or compliment Tessa. 

If Jem loved Tessa’s hair (and everything else about her), he was obsessed with Will’s voice. For so many years, Will had only said cruel things, used sass and insults to keep people away. Now he knew his curse wasn’t real, Jem had become infatuated with Will saying kind things. Every time Will complimented someone, him or Tessa or anyone else, Jem fell a little more in love with him. 

Someone began tapping their glass, trying to be heard over the talking and laughing. 

“Excuse me! Hey!” It quieted, and everyone turned to look at Will, who was now standing. “I have a toast.” A groan went around the table, but Will kept talking. “Oh, hush. My toast is as follows.” He cleared his throat, looking slightly nervous. “A toast to old friends,” he raised his glass to Jem, who smiled softly. “To family,” He raised the glass to Cecily, then to Henry, who was distracted by something in his hands, and Charlotte, who put her hands over her heart and looked deeply honoured. 

“To those who were brave enough to tell me to watch my tongue,” He bowed his head to Sophie, who gave him a wry little grin. “To those who-” He voice caught, and he cleared his throat. “To those who believed in me.” He gestured to Tessa, who exhaled softly and looked very fond. “To the very welcome newcomers, and the ones who are getting there.” To Bridget, Thomas, Gideon, and then Gabriel, who looked slightly put out. Charlotte tsked. “And to those who are not able to admire my great wit and beauteous looks anymore.” He raised his cup viciously enough that a few drops spilled out, this time to the mantle of the fireplace where a delicate lace parasol sat. Everyone stopped smiling at that.  Bridget, Thomas, Gideon, and Gabriel didn’t know the whole story, but they were evidently able to surmise. 

Will cleared his throat again and sat down, ignoring everyone and taking another bite of food. Jem could see Tessa put a hand on Will’s knee and murmur something, and Jem  stretched out and placed an arm over Will’s chair, hand stroking Will’s back. 

“That was lovely, Will,” Charlotte said, smiling brightly. “On that note, I do believe I’m stuffed!”

…

Night had long since fallen. Jem was standing by the window, playing his violin. Tessa was watching him with a soft smile on her face. Will, stretched out on Jem’s bed, wondered how he had managed to have two of the most amazing people in the world fall in love with him. Tessa was wearing her nightgown, though she had a dressing gown wrapped tightly around herself so some of the shock was missing. 

“I have determined,” Will announced. “That American women are more modest than English ones.” 

He could see the corner of Jem’s smile as Tessa turned to look at him. 

“And how, pray tell, did you come to this conclusion?” I am very certain you are not going around contemplating the modesty of other American women, for that would be very stupid.” Jem’s little laugh was mostly hidden under the music, but Will knew Jem had laughed. “I am capable of great immodesty, Will Herondale.” 

“Oh?” Will sat up, heart racing far more than was reasonable. He gave a lazy smirk. “Prove it.” 

Jem hit the wrong note very abruptly, then resumed playing. Now, however, he was turned towards them. 

“I shall.” Tessa reached to the hem of her nightgown, and for a brief moment Will thought he was going to pass out. Jem looked much the same, and the notes were noticeably more sharp now. But all Tessa did was pull up her skirt enough to show off her bare ankles. “There. Do I belong in a den of iniquity?” 

Will’s eyes darted to meet hers, and then she was laughing so hard she fell over backwards. Will loved her laugh, loved watching her laugh. 

“You two!” She gasped out, clutching her sides. “Your faces!” 

The music faltered, and Will glanced over to see Jem staring at Tessa, a look of fond exasperation on his face. 

Someone knocked on the door, and Tessa sat up fast enough she almost catapulted off the bed. Jem set down his violin and went to go see who it was. Will heard Sophie’s voice, checking to make sure Jem didn’t require anything before bed. If Sophie was alarmed by Will and Tessa’s presence, she didn’t say anything, simply bid them goodnight. 

As Jem said his goodnights, Will nudged Tessa. 

“Jem is under the mistletoe,” he whispered. 

“Goodness, you put that stuff everywhere.” The three had already exchanged dozens of kisses throughout the night, thanks to the liberal use of it with the decorations, and there had been more than a few occasions where Cecily and Gabriel or Gideon and Sophie had been caught under it and conveniently found somewhere they had to be instantly. 

“I think it is a necessary part of holiday decorations.” 

Jem shut the door, and then Tessa had shoved herself up and crossed the room in a few short steps. As Jem turned around, Tessa caught his chin in her hand and kissed him. 

Jem looked rather startled, then put his arms around Tessa and closed his eyes. Will watched them, watched Tessa reach a hand up into Jem’s hair. He felt a sudden urge to have Jem’s hair in his hands, to have Tessa pressed up against him. He stood up and sauntered over to them, placing a hand on Tessa’s shoulder. She turned her head, smiling up at him. 

Will moved closer, wrapping his arms around Tessa. She laughed, and he moved his hand up to wrap around hers tangled in Jem’s hair. 

“Don’t pull my hair, you too.” Will laughed. “It’s easy to be amused when you are not in danger of having a bald spot.” 

Will’s other hand drifted up to cup Jem’s cheek, and Jem leaned into it a bit. He glanced at Tessa. Her eyes were closed, and a mix of fervent kissing and laughter had made her hair come down around her face. It was impossibly soft where it was pressed against his collarbone. 

“I thank the Angel every day that my curse wasn’t real, and that I was given a chance with the both of you,” Will whispered into the top of Tessa’s hair. “My Tess, my Jem.” 

[melforbes]

8 & 17?

8: share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it

im sharing multiple because im soooo insecure about my dialogue writing skills well like not insecure but i definitely dont have a knack for it which is why mine tends to be really sparse haha. so we are having an unhumble moment over here

teenage bedelia in the stedelia au has been one of my favorite characters to write pretty much ever. teenage girls in general are absolutely the most fun to write because they are naive and insane and that is SO FUN for characterization. i wish i could make "is massachusetts on the west coast" into a meme. this is not something i should be proud of i realize. oh and i have to explain why im proud of it. oh im proud of it simply because i think it's hilarious. none of my reasoning is going to be deep i assure you

we will not be discussing the embarrassingly long time i spent perfecting "if you die it will be my fault" and we will also not talk about how i personally see that as super deep when it totally isnt. also the mortifying ordeal of these all being from the stedelia au. im proud of this one because i spent hours on it and i think it communicates exactly what i wanted it to communicate. why do i get the eebs describing it that way

this makes me cringe to reread lmao but anyway. anywhomst. this is for a video game and it's really hard to turn video game dialogue into written dialogue because the two dont follow the same rules (video game dialogue can be very tongue in cheek and also follows grammar the way spoken language does so then writing it verbatim just doesnt look right, kind of have to find a happy medium, etc) but this was one of the moments when i felt like i actually got it right. not right right but like close enough. but either way. maybe im just gay but i love romance that goes against the established norm so two people lying in the grass beneath the stars and he's like hey will you marry me and she's like sure but they never actually reach those words even a little...i just like the concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! these two are very fun to write. no one who follows me here has read this but either way. i loveeeeeee repressed hets

again. teenage girls are thee most fun to write. i dont understand the appeal of mlf at all beyond the fact that it's long and for a semi rarepair (like slim pickings u feel) but alma is worth stanning. sorry not sorry she is my baby and i love her. ignore everything else its not worth it but alma is a queen

i studied anthropology in college so naturally im completely obsessed with humans finding useless meaning in stuff and also yes i realize when i dont know what to do i have the romantic pairing stare at the stars i do this for free fuck off but anyway. these two are also repressed hets and therefore fun to write. is that like going to be my brand. repressed hets and feral teenage girls. could be worse. anyway. these two are fun to write. im not even like proud of this or something i just think it's funny and i think these two are neat

okay thats enough of that haha

17: do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

little bit of both but i tend toward linear. im really bad at nonlinear thinking. i usually go out of order when a particular scene or chapter requires extra attention and i haven't figured it out yet but want to put something down anyway. for any ~niche readers~ i wrote the joel/tess breakup aftermath before writing the breakup itself and then tried to piece things back together which is why the radio interlude chapter is shoved in there, to span the awkward gap i'd created. if i'm doing a slow burn i oftentimes will write a kiss scene or something just because im getting slow burn burnout haha. mlf and seaglass blue were almost aggressively linear. i have a tendency to know beginnings and endings more than i know middles so sometimes i end up on those two extremes and have to backtrack. this whole answer contradicts itself alskdgjasldkgjsalgj like. i think at this point like. not to humble brag or something but one thing writing fic over like five years has taught me is how to understand my own writing and work tendencies with output better so i find it really natural to just pick certain things up Wherever and it just works. like for mlf or something i couldn't write a second scene before a first but in other things i can write whole chapters that are six chapters away and it feels natural as well. does that make any sense. just kind of going with the flow. for original work i am also aggressively linear but i have a gut feeling that's not going to last haha

[almightyellie]

i have one concept that i keep on coming back too and it’s literally... gwilym being a single father and loving his daughter so much and when he goes into parents evening he realises that her teacher is GORGEOUS and basically he starts dating his daughters teacher ok i have many more gwil prompts for another day

okay i’ve thought about this.....plenty. im obsessed with this concept.

you had heard about gwilym lee endlessly from callie’s old teacher. “gorgeous,” she’d always swoon. “but it’s hard to see with how overbearing he is.” you had heard plenty from tess about gwil, how he couldn’t leave a thing alone and how, more often than not, any time spent volunteering in the classroom was really more time spent butting heads with one another, but how he refused to not come. more time with his daughter, he always excused.

you were surprised, then, when at the end of the school day, callie was the only one left in the classroom, waiting for her dad. she smiles at you as you crouch in front of her, taking both of her small hands in yours. “y’want me to call your dad, bug?”

“no, he should be coming. he never forgets.”

and you had heard from tess that no, he didn’t. however, he had spent the whole year before volunteering for tess’s classroom, and you—two months into the school year—had yet to meet him. you feared the tide was turning, but you just smile and nod, her hands still in yours when the door bust open.

you know immediately that it’s him, bright blue eyes that perfectly mirror callie’s, and he rushes to his girl, who you release when she squeals for him. dropping to his knees, he cups her face, taking her in as he rambles. “oh, i’m so sorry, beautiful. i got caught up at a meeting, i was supposed to be here early.”

“s’okay, dad,” she insists, tiny nose wrinkling as she grinned. you think her nose is the only thing she didn’t get from him; there was no doubt she was his.

he glances up at you, mouth already open, but no words come out as you smile kindly at him. “i…”

you can sense that he’s at a loss for words, something obviously plaguing his thoughts, so you just reach out a hand. “hi, mr. lee. y/n, pleased to finally meet you.”

he takes your hand, standing to his full height. he was even more gorgeous up close, and it was starting to look like a good thing that he hadn’t spent much time in the classroom, because you weren’t sure that you would get anything done around him. “gwil, please. pleasure.”

“i’ve heard quite a bit about you,” you nod, hands smoothing down your thighs.

he winces. “all from cal, i hope.”

chuckling, you shrugged. with pinched fingers, you smile, “a little from tess.”

he groans and callie grins up at him, obviously pleased with your laughter. “ah, tess. we had a bit of a rough start. hope she hasn’t completely ruined me for you.”

you shrug, a smile playing at your lips. “i guess you’ll just have to do a bit of image rehab around here.”

he grins at that.

gwilym becomes almost a permanent fixture in your classroom, always running errands for you and smiling as he tacked things on the board or glancing surreptitiously up at you as he grades papers. he can’t believe you’re so good at handling all of them all at once. he feels like callie is enough, no matter how well-behaved she may be, but you handle twenty-five seven-year-olds like it’s nothing, with no effort but sweet gentle smiles and only half-menacing looks. he’s been completely enamored with you since the first second he saw your face, but the more time he spends around you, watching you handle the class, the more he adores you.

he’s no better than you, a supposedly grown woman who stumbles over her words when she knows he’s watching her, and who gives him extra work just to keep him around, and is too shy to do anything more than flirt with him.

one day, a month of you and gwilym staring at one another all day long, two or three days a week, both of you and callie are staying after school. you’re trying to finish emails to parents as quickly as possible, gwil is standing tall in the back of the room, setting up a new bulletin board for you, and callie is sitting beside you at your desk, working on some homework, only looking up to ask you questions every few minutes.

“hey, y/n, how do you want this pinned?” gwil asks. you glance away from your computer, and it’ll be easier for both of you if you to just do it yourself than try to direct him from across the room, so you pat callie’s shoulder and stand from your chair.

crossing the room, you smooth your hands over your skirt, bare feet padding over thin carpet, and you hold out your hands, taking the small, laminated banner from him and picking the stapler up from the desk he’s set it on. sliding the banner across the navy blue paper, you smile at the contrast, turning back to gwil for only a second before you began to staple it. “just like this, is fine,” you answer easily, putting in the final staple before you take a moment to admire it. in an instant, large hands grip your waist and spin you around, pressing your body against his as you squeal in surprise. “oh. hi.”

he smiles, shaking his head. “god, you’re so cute.” he shakes his head. you can feel your cheeks warm as you flatten your hands on his chest, smoothing over his button-down as he sighs in content. “can i kiss you?”

“of course,” you grinned, leaning in to kiss him.

needless to say, gwilym sticks around your classroom, even after callie goes into second grade.

[justsimplypretty]

let me - (z.k)

Storyline: Girlfriend Tessa struggles with insecurities during a vacation away while Zion shows his appreciation to all the things she hates

Author’s Note: 

So I wrote this story while I currently am sneezing my life away with a 101 fever so take this writing with that in mind. I'm not sure I was even stable enough to write this but here we are haha! 

Inspired by Let Me - ZAYN

Warning: both smut and fluff (but the smut is not fluffy if that makes sense)

Word count: 1.6k

tessa stood anxiously in front of the mirror, mentally critiquing herself for the reflection looking back. she’d been looking forward to this vacation with zion for months now. it serving as the first alone time they’d gotten since the bands schedule had picked up this year while also being a warm escape from the cold winter they’d been enduring. But it was far from what tessa had envisioned.

though the tropical island was absolutely breathtaking and the small bungalow zion rented for the pair that overlooked the crystal clear ocean straight out of a dream, her insecurities had gotten the best of her since the day they’d arrived. tessa couldn’t help but be reminded of every tiny thing she loathed about herself while putting on a brand new binki she’d only purchased for the occasion. or even her thoughts that all the outfits she wore looked way better online than they ever did on herself. everything, completely chipping away at her confidence this trip.

“okay stop it already” zion interrupted tessa’s thoughts as he stood firmly behind her in the mirror. becoming so lost in her own opinions, she couldn’t recall how long or even when his tall figure had appeared in the bathroom. her natural response to stare in the mirror confusingly, pondering what on earth he could be referring to.

“come on now, you really don’t think I’ve noticed you angling yourself in front of this mirror everyday in frustration?”

tessa sighed at the words leaving zion’s mouth. she really didn’t think he’d noticed. which was no surprise considering she’d always underestimated how well zion knew her, understading things she hadn’t even concluded herself. he always knew tessa to be his bubbly, fun-loving, confident girlfriend. but he also knew that every now and then, she had her moments, just like the rest of us.

“gosh z, i’m sorry i know i’ve ruined our whole trip with my mood. it’s just lately... i can hardly find one thing i like about the way i look in any of these swimsuits” she confessed at her best attempts of holding back tears.

“that’s funny because i’ve managed to find lot” he remarked, wrapping his arms tightly around tessa’s waist from behind.

“like how beautiful your skin looks in this bright neon blue...” he mentioned, admiring it’s vibrant color for a moment before he rambling on.

“or how these bottoms are always hiked up a little, practically begging me to grab those sexy curves on your hips” gripping at both her sides. zion slowly crouched his body down. just enough so his eyes were leveled with the side of her thigh.

“how i get to see all these gorgeous little lines on either side of your legs... gosh i’m obsessed with these” he admitted before planting small kisses amongst her stretchmarks, letting each peck linger a little longer than the previous one. tessa breath hitched at the sudden warmth zion’s lips provided.

“...and when your ass hangs out of each side when you walk... i swear i stand behind you just to see it every chance i get” zion grabbed a handful of each cheek causing tessa to giggle slightly. he looked up and gave her a wink, delighted that his dirty remarks were lighting her energy, before he stood behind her once again.

“...and the way this top has your tits looking ridiculously good... enough for me to want to just hold them all the damn time” he snaked his hands to tessa’s front, massaging at them just enough to cause her buds to harden through the material.

“and when they do that... fuck i love to see that” which only caused a small moan to escape tessa’s mouth. she could feel zion’s firm member through his sweatshorts pressed against her backside probably on purpose to show tessa just how good he really thought she looked. and she couldn’t lie, it was working. a sudden warmth took over her cheeks at the thought of zion appreciating all that she didn’t.

“maybe i just let myself forget how much you love those things about me”

“well then let me just remind you baby” zion declared seductively as he picked tessa up, wrapping her legs around his waist. he couldn’t resist attacking her lips right in that moment, being too impatient to wait until they’d made it to the bed.

“let me show you just how much i love all of you tess” he mumbled into the kiss. “let me me show you how good you look to me”

zion laid her back gently onto plush mattress letting her hair fall into the cloud of pillows. he admired her figure for a moment before gently pulling at the tied strings on either side of her blue swim bottoms, watching it unravel effortlessly. tessa’s top quickly followed suit, zion’s eagerness too much for him to wait any longer. tossing both pieces onto the floor, he made sure his eyes never left her body, doing everything in his power to focus on all her tiny details.

“gosh you’re beautiful” was all he could voice as his lips began placing small kisses up her unclothed body. it was as if he was determined to leave no surface untouched, making sure to let his lips dwell a little longer on her most insecure areas. tessa couldn’t help but laugh at the ticklish feeling, causing zion to smirk against her body. it was the first time all trip he’d actually caught a genuine smile from her. and to know that his actions could turn her whole mood around, only encouraged him to venture further.

within a few minutes, zions mouth was attached to her most sentive area, licking long strips up the base while keeping his eyes focused on her every movement. tessa bit intensely at her bottom lip doing her best to conceal her moans out of habit. she was use to getting intimate with zion at the guys house, where there were constantly people coming in and out 24/7.

“come on baby let me hear you...i didn’t rent this secluded space for nothing” zion pointed out as he began giving more attention to tessa’s needy clit. the sensation sending chills throughout her body causing cries of zion’s name to escape her mouth just the way he desired. she had forgotten just how good her boyfriend really was with his tounge. between the midnight studio sessions and constant traveling, it was as though her body hadn’t felt his pleasure in ages.

“i can’t take it z... i need to cum please” tessa begging for presmission was nothing out of the ordinary. she knew how much zion loved to see her crumble at his approval while she enjoyed trying her best to keep it together until his say so. it was something that got a rise out of them both. but zion ignored her cries, wanting to see how far he could push tessa until she was over the edge. he wanted to make sure she was receiving all the attention she deserved. “baby please!!!” she screamed through heavy breaths and piercing moans. tessa had a grip on his dreads so intense that zion knew there was no holding her back any longer.

“alright mamas show me how pretty you look cumming for me” zion’s melodic words being all the approval she needed to release on him. he watched her every move, appreciating every leg squirm and toe curl. he proceeded to bring tessa to her high twice more from just his tounge along. each time making her more sensitive than the last. it was common for him to do so, but especially when he wanted to make his girl feel more cherished.

shortly after, tessa had found herself on top of her boyfriend, easing her way slowly down onto his throbbing member. she wasn’t sure how they’d ended up in this position, but the feeling of him stretching her was beginning to turn her views of this trip around. tessa began feeling a certain confidence as she set the pace and locked eyes with a pleasure filled zion. his hands gripping tightly to her hips as he prevented himself from bucking into her. zion wanted her to have this moment of control. to feel an empowerment as she rode him and called all the shots.

“do you feel me tess? huh? do you feel every inch of me?” tessa only being able to nod in response as her head fell into the crook of zion’s neck. “fuck i swear i’ll never get enough of this body of yours baby” he continued on whispering loving yet sexual words into her ear. it was all true though. he really couldn’t imagine tessa being any more perfect than she already was. every inch of her he discovered to be more flawless than the last. she was truly a work of art in his eyes.

another high took her over only moments later as the sensations of the past few orgasms zion had given we’re finally catching up. the feeling of her tighting around him enough to bring him over too, explicits filling the room in perfect harmony from them both. they both lay entangled in each other’s bodies as the thin silk sheets clothed them.

“sometimes i wish i saw what you see in me z” tessa confessed softly breaking the silence in the room.

“i can’t wait until you do tess... but i promise to appreciate all of you enough for the both of us in the mean time” zion replied planting several kisses to the top of her head. he knew he couldn’t fix every self doubt in a single trip alone, but he wanted to assure her that’d be be there every step of the way.

“how’d i get so lucky to love and be loved by you?” tessa questioned rhetorically as she snuggled further into zion’s chest. she never thought someone could love every part of her so deeply... and then he came along.

“forever baby... i’m yours forever”

[zoeygreensimblr]

Enchanted (episode 2)

I woke up well before my alarm went off, every muscle in my body felt like it was being pulled apart. How do people do this exercise thing and just love it? This is torture and now this trainer guy wants us to do personal training 3 times a week, ugh kill me now. Stupid Angus with his stupid pretty face making it impossible to say no to. Stupid Tess for roping me into this stupid pack, I swear she just wanted to see me suffer while convincing me "It's for the greater good, think of how fit we will be come Summer". Stupid Summer, I can't hide under layers when it's boiling hot. Curse everything!!!

I reach for my phone to shut off my alarm and I notice I've got a text message from a number that I don't know.

See you at 4pm, looking forward to it

Clearly it's been sent to me by accident because, lets face it, I very rarely make plans with anyone and if I I do then I spend all week trying to think up ways to get out of them, Im just going to reply and tell them they have the wrong number.

This is Angus BTW, Your personal Trainer

Great, Mister perfect is a morning person who sends early morning messages reminding his victims he hasn't forgotten he scheduled more torture.

Upstairs I can hear Tess dancing around the kitchen as she makes her breakfast. Tess is also a morning person, it's extremely annoying when you're a night owl like myself and you get woken up by the sound of her singing out of key.

The dancing has stopped and has been replaced the sound by her shoes stomping down the stairs

"Zoey, wake up, we are leaving in 30 minutes" she bellows down the hall "and pack your gym clothes, we have training after school and I don't wanna have to make a trip home and then back into the city, it's easier to go from school"

"Im up, going to shower now" I reply, while I still lay there knowing she won't leave without me

My door flies open suddenly and she's now invading my space with her perkiness.

"you're not up at all, get up!!! Did you see Angus' texted us, I'm so excited to start personal training, arn't you?"

Why must she be so happy all the time?

"Im sore Tess, all over, maybe I shouldn't go today, I'll start PT on Friday" Please Tess, please hear my plea, don't make me go back there but no, she doesn't listen to a word I've said, instead she's shoving my gym clothes into my school bag.

Im up, Im showered, Im ready for school and it only took 40 minutes.

We attend a very elite private school in the heart of Forgotten Hollow. I love going to school here, Tess and I share a great group of friends and Im a straight A student.

Tess' Boyfriend Declan meets us the the school gate, just like he has done every day since he and Tess started dating in year 9, he kisses her on the cheek and greets me with a wave.

"Our personal trainer has a thing for Zoey, I know it, Im never wrong about these things" Tess greets him every morning with useless information that he pretends to take an interest in.

"Way to go Zoey" He enthuses, as if he really cares

"He doesn't have thing for me, he was just being friendly to get us to sign up for his stupid torture sessions and now we have to go back there again this afternoon so he can whip us into shape" I moan

"Tess we have school captain meetings after school today, did you forget?" Declan reminds her.

"Oh shit, I did forget, sorry Zoey, you're facing the torture chamber alone today, don't worry, you'll be fine though" she said, not looking one bit apologetic, she's almost laughing, "You should see Zo in front of this guy Declan, she goes bright red and he just keeps staring at her, he's so into her"

That afternoon I board the train alone to San Myshuno, arriving at the gym just before 4. As Im checking in at the reception desk Angus comes running up to me.

"No Tess today?" he asks and Im left wondering if he's somewhat disappointed that he's realised he's going to be stuck attempting to make conversation with the socially recluse twin

"She forgot she had a meeting to attend today so Im sorry but it's just me this afternoon, did you wanna cancel?" I struggle to get my words out through bouts of shyness creeping in.

Please say yes, we can cancel and wait until Tess returns.

"That's ok, her loss is your gain because now you get me 100% to yourself for a whole hour. How are you feeling after yesterday's session?"

"If I can be honest with you, Im hurting a lot, everywhere"I reply, in the hopes he will send me home to rest.

"I thought you would be sore today but you put in an amazing effort last night, you should be proud of yourself, Im really proud of you, Ive had a lot of women run away mid class and never come bak but not you, you stuck it out, that shows you've got stamina" He flashes me that million dollar smile and I feel my face going bright red, "Ok, lets get started, I'll take things nice and slow with you today, due to the recovery pain you're in"

He leads me to the treadmill and starts me on a low setting, just as promised.

"We're going to be working pretty closely together a lot so what do you say we work on kicking this shyness to the curb too? Lets get you to be a strong, confident woman"

The redness is creeping back into my cheeks, why does he care if I'm shy and not confident?

"We can try but I can't make any promises, I'm socially awkward, Tess is the social butterfly, she loves going to parties and to clubs whereas I'd much rather sit at home binge watching Grey's Anatomy" Why am I volunteering information about being a wallflower? He's going to think I'm such a loser.

"McDreamy and McSteamy are the way to any girls heart" he laughs "I love a good binge watch myself"

"You watch Grey's Anatomy?" I ask, shocked, Ive never met a guy who likes Grey's, but to be fair I don't really talk to many boys, just Declan and only because he's always hanging around Tess.

"I live with my older sister and she's somewhat obsessed with it, she rewatches it every Summer and we only have one TV in the apartment so I'm also forced to watch it too" He laughs, "Do you like movies?"

"I love movies, it's one of the only times I enjoy leaving the house, when something new comes out. I sometimes think I just go for the popcorn though" I reply "what about you?"

"I also love going to the movies but I don't go for the popcorn" He explains "I usually bring my own snack, I don't do carbs, Im just really careful about what I put in my body" He winks at me like I'm in on some secret joke. Is he flirting with me? Is this what flirting is? No way, he's just being cocky, I'm sure of it, Who would flirt with a sweaty introvert who just admitted to carboloading as an excuse to see a movie?

Ive got a plan, if I just stop talking then he will stop talking and I can just stop overthinking everything. I blame Tess, she got into my head with this whole "He likes you" bullshit that she carried on with. I wish Tess was here so the focus wasn't all on me. Why did she have to be popular and be voted in as School Captain? Why couldn't she just think of what coming here alone would do to me.

My plan is working, he's not even trying to talk to me, he's typing something on his phone. Good, just stay focused on your phone buddy, no more chatty chats to Zoey.

My plan lasted all of 3 minutes, he looks up from his phone and asks "Your surname is Green right"

"umm, yeah"

"and it's Zoey, spelt with just an E or EY?"

"EY, why?"

"Im just searching for you on simstergram, oh yeah, there you are. Following and I expect a follow back"

"Do you also expect interesting content too because you will be sadly disappointed" I throw in my own wink at the end and he just laughs.

As I'm about to leave I see that it's started to snow, it wasn't even forecast to snow today, it's been unseasonably warm since the middle of last week so I didn't even consider to bring a jacket. The train station is a 10 minute walk from the gym and the another 15 minute walk to my house. Im going to freeze if I go out there without cover. Best to wait inside and call Don to come pick me up. I pull out my phone and start typing in my home number, hoping that he's home, when I hear Angus behind me.

"Oh wow, it's snowing.How are you getting home Zoey?"

"I was going to catch the train but I didn't bring a coat so Im just going to call my step dad and ask if he can come get me"

"From Brindleton Bay? That's crazy, I'll take you home"

"Oh no, you don't have to, that's well out of your way"

"How do you know Im not already going that way?"

"I just assumed you lived in San Myshuno when you mentioned you live in an apartment"

"ah, umm, yeah I do but really it's no trouble, you were my last client for the day anyway and I'll just be going home to an empty house, my Sister is travelling at the moment, so I really don't mind and it would give you someone to talk to on the way home, although Im sure Im no substitute for Tess"

"Tess could talk under water, I swear." I laugh "well as long as you're sure it's no trouble. I'll call Don though and tell him we are having a guest for dinner, can't have you driving me all the way to Brindleton Bay and back in the snow on an empty stomach"

He smiles "Thanks Zoey, you're a sweetheart"

Here comes the blushing again

The traffic leaving the city is congested with everyone finishing work at 5 and heading back to the suburbs and the snow storm is picking up.

"I wouldn't be surprised if we get a blizzard tonight" Angus muses

"I would love that, Tess and I have a tradition of watching movies and getting drunk in our basement on nights of a blizzard because school get cancelled for the next day"

"That's awesome. You two are really close hey?"

"Yeah, she's not just my twin sister, she's also my best friend. She pushes me out of my comfort zone all the time, which can be annoying but she's always got my back whenever someone pushes me around"

"she pushed you into coming to the gym didn't she?"

"Is it that obvious that I don't want to be there?"

He laughs, "Ah yes but I think you'll slowly warm up to it. I hated it at first too but I had a lot of weight that needed to come off, not like you, little miss petite"

"Are you seriously trying to convince me that you didn't always have washboard abs?"

He looks at me, raising an eyebrow "Have you been checking me out Miss Green?"

SHIT!!! I've somehow stumbled into unknown territory, flirting, I can feel my breathing becoming more rapid, I'm going to have a panic attack, which is not unknown territory but Im trapped in a car with a virtual stranger.

"Oh fuck, Zoey, shit, I can't pull over, just deep breaths hun, in and hold it then out" He's trying to not get panicked himself as he's trying to calm me down and it's working.

A few moments of silence pass until he asks me "Does that happen often?"

"unfortunately yes" I tell him, embarrassed. "I just get overwhelmed with some social interactions"

"like flirting?"

"Yeah, I don't  flirt, ever"

He looks over at me again and says with a smile "We're gonna work on that"

We arrive at my house just as the storm starts to get worse. We make a mad dash to the front door where we are greeted by Tess, who is obviously amused with the whole situation.

She yells out to our Mother Ruth and Don "Zoey brought a boy home"

I could kill her, I really could, she has no tact but Angus just laughs like he's in on her joke and I just roll my eyes.

Don ventures out from the kitchen to greet today's unexpected dinner guest, he use to Tess bringing Declan for dinner but this is a first, Zoey with a boy.

Don reaches out to shake hands with Angus, "Hey, Im Don, Zoey and Teresa's step father, their mother is around here somewhere" He turns around to yell out to mum

"Ruthie, come meet Zoey's friend" he turns back to Angus "Sorry, I didn't catch your name"

"Angus, Angus McKennzie"

Tess and I exchange looks, we didn't know his surname until now either.

"McKennzie? You're not Imogen McKennzie's younger brother are you"

Angus smiles, "Yes, how do you know Immie?"

"We were high school sweethearts back in the day, I use to help her babysit you, you've certainly grown, granted you were only around 2 or 3 back then" Don explains

"Oh look out, old Donny boys got his throw back thursday voice on" Tess muses and I laugh. We love Don but he does like to go on, a lot, about "back when I was in high school"

"Girls, stop picking on Don, he's cooked us a lovely roast for dinner" My mother says as she enters the room. "Hi Angus, welcome to the mad house, these two like to stir their step father non stop"

"He loves it" Tess and I say in unison.

"What's Imogen up to these days anyway? I imagine she's still travelling the world and  breaking hearts" he laughs to himself

"well it's funny you say that, she's on a jungle adventure in Selvadorada right now but she'll be back in a few months. We own the gym together and coming into summer we get an influx of new sign ups so I'll need her help real soon"

Tess and I again exchange looks, He owns the gym?

After dinner, Tess and I do the washing up and Don goes outside to look how much snow has fallen, he comes back inside and informs us that the streets are covered in a thick blanket of whiteness. "You're not going to be able to get home tonight Angus and I highly doubt there will be any work or school tomorrow so it looks like you girls have a playmate for drunken shenanigans, best go make him up a bed in the basement"

"Im sure he wouldn't mind bunking in with Zoey if he had to" Tess teases and I shoot her a dirty look.

"Come along Angus, you can help us mix cocktails" Tess says, taking charge.

We've never had an intruder join us on Blizzard night and Tess is finding it all too exciting.

"Full warning, the more drunk Zoey gets, the less awkward she becomes" she informs Angus, I throw a cushion at her to try and get her to shut up and Angus sits there grinning at us.

We pick out "He's just not that into you" to watch and set our drinking rules. I can feel I'm getting tipsy midway through the movie, "She's such a light weight" Tess announces to Angus.

"No I'm not, you just made my drinks really strong for your own amusement" I protest

Tess and Angus exchange looks and just burst out laughing, I knew it!

"So Angus, don't you have to call your wife and tell her you're not coming home? That you're staying with your mistresses tonight" Tess asks, not so subtle

"I'm 22 Tess, I have no wife"

"Girlfriend then?" she presses on, I know where she's leading us to and Im sure he does too.

"No girlfriend either" he explains and we exchange looks, "very much single and have been for 2 years now"

"Why did you break up?" there's never a question Tess doesn't feel she can't ask, no matter how personal

"She cheated on me, for months, with my best friend"

"Aww Angus, that's heartbreaking, isn't that heartbreaking Zoey?"

"What a bitch " I interject and they both look at me shocked, ok I may be a bit more than tipsy

"Zoey, you should give Angus a hug to heal his broken heart"

"Ok" I reply "But only if you let me feel your abs"

Angus looks at Tess "Is she drunk?"

Tess nods, laughing "I told you, less awkward, she can't overthink when she's drunk"

"Stop talking about me as if Im not here" I shout as I run my palm over the bumps on Angus' torso, while looking him in the eye.

"sorry Zo" he whispers in my ear.

We reach the end of the movie and the bottle of vodka, which isn't surprising when Tess is the mixologist.

"That's Zoey's favourite movie" Tess informs Angus

"It's pretty good but I think they need to do a sequel and call it "He is into you but can't tell if you're into him" what do you think Zoey?" Angus asks

"I'd watch the shit out of that" I reply

Angus and Tess both burst out laughing, I've clearly missed the joke and I just don't care, Im having too much fun.

"Angus you are welcomed to join us again for blizzard night, you're too much fun and Tess, he's so pretty too"My speech is becoming slurry

"Well  Angus, I think she just answered your question without even realising it was directed at her" Tess muses

"Stop talking about me like Im not here" I shout, yet again

"Sorry Zo" they both say in unison.

[gsmhseattle]

Only Freaking Superheroes (Pt. 18)

Time Update-- May 12

Sarah Hunt-- 15

Jack Hunt-- 13

Hudson Hunt-- 6

Kenzie Hunt-- 2

Caleb, Tessa, and Eliza Hunt-- Three Months Old (born 2/7)

Elle Shepherd-- 17

Baby Shepherd-- 39-ish weeks (Due Date: 5/18)

Anna Avery-Kepner-- 16

Joel Avery-Kepner-- 6

Owen walked into Sarah’s hospital room, a canvas tote in one hand and the baby carrier in the other. He gave a smile as Amelia talked with their girl.

It had been a few weeks since Sarah’s surgery and she was progressively getting better. The family was grateful for the continuous support from not only Amelia’s LA family, but the staff at St. Ambrose.

“Okay, I got some lunch, a few things from home, and a baby who is very hungry.” Her husband announced while placing the baby on the table near Amelia.

She smiled whilst looking at one of her youngest, before returning her attention to the tote bag. “Did you ask Dad for books, your computer, and your notebook?”

Sarah gave a weak shrug, pushing herself to sit up more. “Don’t judge. This hospital room sucks anyways.”

“I know it does, Sar. But some of these things--”

“I miss reading and-- And my computer is basically my life! It’s my only way of talking to people besides my phone! And I really need my notebook!”

“For what?”

“To.. Do the stuff we do?”

Amelia sighed, softly placing a hand on the side of her daughter’s head. Her thumb rubbed against Sarah’s cheek. “Honey bee, you need to rest.”

“But that’s all I’ve been doing! It’s resting this and rest that and a whole lot of people telling me to not be on my phone or have my nose in a book.”

“It’s all for a reason, love. No books, or laptop, or phone. Hand them over.” Amelia held out her hand as Sarah handed over the requested items. “But I’ll let you have your journal. Just... Take it easy, okay bee?”

The girl, shocked yet excited, nodded excessively. It was the secret obsession that many didn’t know much about; but Amelia knew how much that journal meant to her oldest. It was one of the ways they decided months ago to communicate. Both realized how their relationship tanked big time and had a desire to fix it, even if it wasn’t a quick and easy fix.

Thus, about two weeks after Sarah’s accident and surgery, Amelia brought a black leather notebook for her kid and explained it to her. She didn’t want to go through another period of time where her daughter was spiralling downhill and Amelia knew nothing about it. Both knew that sitting down and talking would be near to impossible at times, and there might be things that Sarah didn’t want to say out loud in the open-- even if it is just to her mom.

Redirecting her attention to the baby, Amelia grinned and cooed at her. “Hey Tessa, how’s my babbling little red?” She took Tessa out from the carrier and held her close, giving her kisses all over.

“She slept all the way here. Charlotte and Cooper volunteered to watch Caleb, Hud, and Kenz while we’re here. Jack’s at baseball practice. Sarah’s right here. Tessa’s with you. And I’m going to go be with Eliza in a bit.” Owen kissed his wife’s cheek as she held the baby close to her.

Looking from Tessa to Owen, Amelia nodded. “Sounds great.”

Owen stepped away and over towards Sarah, kissing her cheek lightly. “How’s my Sarah today?”

“Good. Tired.”

“But that’s expected, Sar.” Amelia commented, now standing beside Owen.

“I know,” Sarah’s smile disappeared. “Mom, Dad?”

“Yes love?”

“What’s going to happen when I go home?”

Owen looked to Amelia, who motioned to put the baby down before pulling up a chair for himself and her. They’ve struggled with how to have this conversation with their daughter, especially since both were on the fence about rehab. Both knew the pros and cons. If their daughter hadn’t gotten a major surgery done, they would’ve sent her. But now, that wasn’t the case.

“You’re talking about the drugs, aren’t you?” Amelia spoke after she’d put the baby down and a hand on her daughter’s. Owen looked at Sarah alongside his wife. Sarah nodded, glancing from one parent to the other.

“Yeah. I know you’ve told me about rehab and stuff. Will I need it?”

The mother sighed, looking to her husband and back at her daughter. “We haven’t decided that yet, babe. It’s still up in the clouds. If you hadn’t been in the accident, I would’ve said yes. For sure. 100% positive. But...”

“I was in the accident.”

“Yeah...” Amelia rubbed her daughter’s hand. “We’ll figure it out sooner or later. It’ll be a step on your road to recovery at some point. But for now, your job, my Sarah Addison, is to heal up.” She pecked the top of her daughter’s head before looking back at her.

Sarah relaxed a bit more in the bed, looking from the wall in front of her and back to her parents. Tears welled up in her eyes. “You guys still love me even if I’m really screwed up right now, right?”

“Oh Sarah...” Amelia sighed, fighting back her own tears. “We’re in love with you. We’d do anything for you, bee. You know that.”

Looking on and putting a hand on his wife’s thigh, Owen shook his head. “Sarah, I don’t want you to think for a minute that we stopped loving you just because you made one mistake. That is and never will be the case. Okay?”

Nodding, the teen continued to feel tears run down her cheek. Amelia shifted from her seat to the side of Sarah’s bed, enveloping her in the tightest side hug she could give. She knew the pain, the hardship, the grief, all of the emotions her daughter went through. And now more than ever did she want her daughter to know how loved she was.

“Is that why you took the drugs, babe? Did you think we stopped loving you?” Amelia pondered, stroking Sarah’s hair. She felt her daughter nod, still sobbing. Her eyes turned over to Owen. “O, can you grab a nurse and have them watch Tess for a bit while I have some alone time with Sar?”

He nodded while standing up. “Yeah. She’ll come with me to see her little sister and I’ll find someone down there.”

Giving a weak smile, Amelia felt her own tears pour out as she met Owen’s stare. “I love you, Owen.”

Owen bent down to kiss the top of Amelia’s head. “You’re the best mama this girl’s got. Thank you for being that. I love you.”

As Owen parted with Tessa in hand, Amelia still held Sarah close as the sadness continued. So much had to be on her heart that she wanted, needed, to share with her mom. That journal could only do so much for her baby.

“What made you think that we stopped loving you, honey?”

“Because Elle came into your life and you didn’t like me anymore. You liked Elle more than me and you spent all your time with her and I... I lost you as my mom.” She stammered with a sniffle.

Amelia squeezed her daughter once more, placing another kiss on her. “Oh babe, my sweet honey bee, you will never lose me. No matter how far away I may seem from you or how hard you push me away from yourself, you will never lose me. I am your mama. I can’t give up that role. Nothing can take that away.”

“Promise?”

 “Always, my love.” She placed a kiss once more. “Always.”

[fandoms-archive-blog]

Wisdom Teeth

Harrison Osterfield ~ Tom Holland Fan Club

Prompt: Your two best friends pick you up from getting your wisdom teeth pulled.

Requested by: No one

Written By: Head Honcho - Zoe

Reader: Female

Warning: You on pretty hyped up on some kind of drugs

A/N: All good in da hood

======

Oral Surgeon’s Office

“Oh my god!” You gasp as the nurse rolls you out into the almost empty waiting room. “Harrison!” You exclaim, making grabby hands at your best friend.

“(Y/N)!!!” He matches your enthusiasm as he walks over to you and the nurse. “How are you?” He questions, squatting down to your level.

“Phenomenal!” You shout while smacking your hands on either side of his face, making his cheeks squish. “How ‘bout you?”

“Good but not as happy as you, I think.” He chuckles, you smile at him. “How’d it go?” He grabs your hands in his as he stands back up.

“She was wonderful.” The nurse smiles at the young man. “Everything went smoothly.” She informs, Haz smiles. “But--” His smile drops. “don’t worry, hun’, it isn’t that bad.” She chuckles at his reaction, he blushes slightly. “she might be in a bit more pain than normal patients, so we have to up the medication.” She tells, having him a prescription slip.

“Alright.” He nods.

“Like I said, everything else went smoothly.” The nurse smiles again. “Just make sure she keeps hydrated and doesn’t break the stitches. Change the gauze every hour or so.” She also hands him a bag of said items. “Other than that, she’s good to go!”

“Great!”

Parking Lot

“Oh my god!” You gasp for the second time in the last ten minutes. “It’s Spiderman!” You shout, seeing Tom leaning against his car with his eyes glued to his phone. But when he hears you, his head shoots up.

“Oh my god, it’s Jason Bourne!” He mocks, your jaw drops.

“I’m who!?” You question, totally dumbfounded. “I’m Jason Bourne? Everyone has told me I was (Y/N)! My life has been a whole lie!”

“No, (Y/N) is just your current identity.” Tom clarifies, Haz rolls his eyes while locking the wheelchair in place and coming around in front of you to help you stand up.

“Cooooolll!!!” You drawl out as you grip onto his forearm to keep you steady. You abruptly let out a weird noise from your throat; kind of like a small whale dying. “Who's that?” You push past Harrison and lean against the car, staring at your reflection in the window.

“You.” Harrison chuckles along with Tom as you poke the glass. After a few seconds of poking, you jump back with a high-pitched scream. “What was that!?” You shout, grasping onto the closest thing next to you which is Tom.

“We brought Tessa.” Tom laughs.

“Tessa?” You furrow your eyebrows and look up at him. “What’s Tessa?”

“Oh my god, how much drugs did they give her?” He demands, looking over at his friend with an unamused look on his face. The only time you ever asked who Tessa was is when you met the dog. From there on, you have been obsessed with Tess.

Timeskip Car

You let out a small squeal followed by a booming laugh as Tessa starts licking your face, tailing wagging profusely.

“I’m keeping her forever!!!” You yell at the top of your lungs, pulling her gray body close to yours. “Never letting her go!”

“You might want to or she’ll bite your face off,” Tom informs, hearing a small growl come out of Tess. You pout and let her go.

“Wait!” You realize something. “Where’s Harrison!?” You panic, not seeing him in the car.

“Putting your wheelchair back.” He answers, you lunge towards the door and roll down the window just in time to see the blonde walk through the automatic doors.

“HAZ!!!” You shout to him, his head snaps up your way.

“What?!”

“Baby come back!” You start singing, “You can blame it all on Tom!”

“Hey!”

------

“You know,” You start off in a sort of whiny voice. “it so hard!” You pout like a child.

“What is, sweetheart?” Harrison questions.

“Being Jason Bourne.” You state, Tom starts laughing.

-----

“Oh my god!” You exclaim, leaning forward in the seat. “Have you seen the new Spiderman?! He’s so cute!”

“Is he now?” Tom questions while Harrison’s mood shifts a bit.

“Yeah.” You vigorously nod your head up and down. “And that one scene in the trailer where he is telling Ned he’s Spiderma-- EHH!!” You squeal, putting your hands on your face and sinking down in your seat.

“Really, now?” Harrison sighs.

“Yeah.” You uncover your face to speak. “But his assistant dude is... UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” You let out an exaggerated groan while sprawling on the bench. “He’s just so beautiful.” You whisper.

“Is he now?” Tom enthusiastically questions, sitting up straight in the driver’s seat with a big smile on his face.

“Yeah, his eyes and his hair and his face and his laugh and how nice he is and his adorableness and--eehhhh!!!” You let out a fangirl--esk squeal.

“Did you know you are dating him?” Tom informs, you gasp and sit up

“I am?” You ask, completely dumbfounded.

“Yeah, for a few months now.” He chuckles.

“Sickkk!!!” You smile. “Where is my boyfriend now?”

“Right there.” He nods to the passenger seat, your head snaps that way.

“Oh my god!” You turn to him and grab his arm. “How did I get one of you?” You question, gawking at his beautiful face.

[listentome-ok]

Overthinkers

We were all sitting together at a picnic table, then

‘Tess’ Said Sarah, and she let out one ‘Ha’, ‘Every time I look over at you, you’re staring at Alex!’

Immediately I thought, You are tactless Which is to say, charmless Because you don’t think before you speak About how people will respond About what Alex, and Bridget, and I will think, And how we will feel, And what will be said in response.

You are tactless Which is to say, charmless Because you don’t think before you speak Which makes people think That you don’t think at all.

- And then I thought, How ironic it is Because I am suddenly aware of my words And how carefully I must phrase things Even inside my own head -

In any case, I then thought The alternative is That you considered what you said, Before you spoke, Well, you took the conversation from that to this, And you have addressed this When it was not necessary And, I thought, it is not inappropriate For me to see this as hostile

Which is to say, You don’t care about hurting some people Which is to say, You are mean.

- Which is not to say That I don’t say horrible things With and without meaning to Because I do Which is to say, I am mean too. -

And, Everybody else winced.

However then I thought, There is another alternative Which is to say, You don’t consider how people will receive you Because you don’t need to consider How we people will receive you Because you think - Which is to say, you assume - That I am comfortable around you? That I trust you? That you know me? That you trust me? That you trust I that will laugh it off?

Further to that, I thought, in fairness We always speak faster than we think Because we think faster than we feel That is to say, We feel our own feelings before the feelings of others That is because We are each at the forefronts of our own worlds And sometimes that prohibits empathy.

- I have to be so careful now And I Have to pause To think -

Well, just then I was staring at Alex - Eating his sandwich - Because I think people look so sad when they eat, But you can only see it when they are alone. Because when people are with people They talk and look at each other And are able to hide sadness

Especially sadness that does not exist Because people aren’t always sad when they eat They normally feel fine

And it could be because maybe people look sad When they are alone That is to say, Maybe people who are alone look sad And when people eat alone They look so strikingly Alone.

Or instead perhaps it’s to do with how people are Sometimes so focused on their food That even a subconscious mask is shattered Is it that focus that makes them look sad? So vulnerable they seem in those moments, It is more painful than watching a person sleep.

People tend to eat together But Alex tends to eat alone Because he is an individualist And so maybe his face is used to looking like He is alone, Which is to say, Looking like he is sad.

- With this new development, I paused and thought The difference between how you look and how you feel That is similar to the difference Between what you say and and what you think, And how much you care about people, And, despite it, what you say. And so now, despite you, fuck you, This is even more poignant -

But, I admit to myself, it is not to say That I wasn’t also staring at Alex Because he is so beautiful And I want to sleep with him Forever.

And now you have distracted me During my deep contemplation And, like a rolling stone, My deep contemplation cannot now still And so my deep contemplation Has shifted on to The reason why I hate you now:

Because you have intentionally humiliated me In front of him And you want him to laugh at my expense And note your control over me

And, You grin at him for a second too long Your desperate search for his response is 
Drawn across your face: You have drawn the map that you require

Which is to say, You love him too

And it doesn’t surprise me that you are tactless now Because you have been tactless too man times today Which is to say, You’re a bitch Which is to say, Stacey and I will discuss this all later Which is to say, we’re all bitches

*Which is not to say 
 That I’m not a feminist*

And then I remembered Feminism And the outside world - Why am I thinking about this? - That is to say, Perhaps every single other thing taking place in the world at this very moment Is more significant than this.

I am - like my contemporaries - self-obsessed And lazy To be thinking so much about this, And my thoughts betray - Of course, my thoughts would betray me - How ill-informed I am About every single other thing that is taking place in the world at this very moment.

Could we stop bad things from happening If we were informed about them And thought about them all the time? Well, you know what, maybe.

- But then again, I don’t think even God Could have stopped Sarah from becoming a bitch -

Here I go again! Which is to say, I guess I didn’t check my privilege Before I started to think about all this Well, what I privileged cunt I am! But before I get over myself Or channel my fortune to societal good Or, at least, shut up I must quickly finish my thought

- Which is funny in itself Because this whole thing has been about self-awareness And outward appearances And I didn’t even check my privilege Is that to say, It is impossible to be consistently self-aware? -

And, I am pursing my lips And, People are shifting uncomfortably In the silence

Which is to say, I cannot glean how far I have lapsed from the conversation Which is to say, time has passed In a few seconds I will have closed and forgotten this And forget altogether I will, until Twenty minutes or so from now You make another comment.

But in the oasis at the centre of my desert soul I find myself to be a diplomat That is to say that I, unlike you, Think before I speak - Think a lot - That is to say, I’m tactful. That is to say that I, unlike you, Will sacrifice my dignity For the sake of greater comfort (What a saint) 

And, like the pea in the mattresses of my cushy mind I know that you are tactless And in acknowledging it to myself I give myself the sympathy I wanted Which is funny in itself Because when I thought, ‘You are tactless’ After all, That was all I would have had to think To not let it bother me. But, of course, we can all be indulgent sometimes And take the time to articulate things to completion.

Which is to say, That this is is all quite farcically funny, Which means, all things considered, It is farcically, humorously, mannerly, and romantically funny, Which is to say very funny, Because 
 You are nowhere near as rude as I think you are, Which is to say, You are much, much ruder than you think you are, Reason being: we can’t look into each other’s minds, Even just to look at ourselves, Which is all we would really want to check anyway.

But what’s funny is that it is not to say, That either thing should matter If it can never be changed, 
 And that it is simply the way of the world, Which is to say, How silly we all are. We haven’t actually met.

‘How-‘

But, Listen, Everyone is laughing again, And I missed what was said.